I find it amazing how different I act when I among 2-3 people then when I am around 10-12. Also, I act differently depending on the type of people I am around. If I around friends who act in such a manner as to crave attention I often take a step back and play more of a background role in the conversation and within the social dynamic. Conversely, if I am around people I do not know very well but feel a shared personality with I am usually much more outgoing and boisterous, often taking over a situation and in a sense being the leader and comic relief. I never really noticed this pheonomenon until I met an old friend during my internship at college. At that time I had a pretty set social group in which, and this sounds odd, but there were clearly defined roles. That isn't to say that people we not able to be themselves but to a degree I, and the people around me, did not overstep our bounds. I say this because when I caught up with an old friend from middle school I sort of morphed into someone who was alot more outgoing, even loud at times. I did and said things that were, in other contexts, outside my comfort zone but in the freedom of my new experiences felt natural. I had a similar experience this week at a wedding running into a few old friends and meeting a few new ones. I went back into this outgoing, gregarious personality that for years had in a sense laid dormant. I had more fun than I had in years. So, the question I am wrestling with and still asking myself days after is, which person am I really? Are my friends and 'comfortable' social roles somehow hindering me or is it the break from the complacency that is in and of itself the fun part. I am fascinated by social interactions within such a context but I am afraid to turn the spotlight on myself.
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